Why are we losing the "battle" over marriage and family? (Part 1)

The battle rages on against marriage and the family.

Perhaps you read today as I did that the Vermont legislature overturned the governor's veto and became the fourth state in the union to legalize gay marriage. In my opinion, it is only a matter of time before we see similar stories coming out of other states where similar bills are in various stages of passage. Also in my opinion, we are fighting a losing battle. In fact, it seems to me that we already lost the battle a long time ago and the squabbles we see now are in the "last stand" stage -- noble, but doomed. How did it get this way?

Proposition 8 in California is a notable example. All the time I hear Christians lamenting, "How can the courts overturn the will of the majority?" This is a terrible argument for a couple of reasons. First of all, the will of "the majority" is a fleeting thing as opinions constantly shift. Back in November prop 8 passed by a margin of 52-48%. But if had been voted on ten years ago, "the majority" would have been far greater. In other words, at the rate they are going, it is only a matter of time before proponents of same-sex marriage have "the majority." What will we say then?

Secondly, what would we say if a vote of "the majority" passed a law making it illegal to worship in a church? You can bet that we would want the courts to overturn such a law, "the majority" notwithstanding. Simply having "the majority" does not make a cause right. Remember it was not that long ago that "the majority" of voters in southern states favored segregation laws. I think most Christians would probably acknowlege that those laws were wrong, in spite of their widespread support at the time.

To my mind, this is exactly why the battle is being lost. We have allowed the opposition to frame the debate as a civil rights issue. Too many people in this country have accepted the view that homosexuals are born that way and therefore, not allowing them to marry (along with other things) is a violation of their civil rights. As long as the debate is framed in these terms, the will of "the majority" argument is doomed to failure.

Does that mean we should give up? Certainly not. But we need to stop fighting the war on the wrong battlefield. In fact, maybe the fact that we view it as a "battle" or "war" is part of the problem. Perhaps if we quit fighting against those who are on the other side of the debate and instead approached them as Jesus did, with love and consideration, we might make far more progress. This is a possibility I will explore in more detail in my next post...